I recently discovered I still have a disorder I had when I was a child.

It’s commonly known as ADHD or ADD. I was not diagnosed then, they told my mum it’s been something like ADHD but not the same ailment, I’ve been just very active and energetic kid.

I don’t know why they didn’t notice I had also problems with getting the easy tasks done, being on time, planning the more abstract tasks that have more than one thing to do (like bigger school projects, homework, planning the learning for school), cleaning up very cluttered drawer, packing the stuff to the bag when I was on vacations (alone, in the primary school especially – now I can pack my stuff perfectly:) ), being focused on reading some not so interesting chapter (like history book) even if the text had just one page – it took forever for me.

Focusing on one thing was always barely possible for me. I have never been bad student. I am intelligent. I can remember a lot from classes – but I couldn’t force myself to study more than that. My knowledge presented at tests, presentations and so on was always based on what I remembered from class.

I almost didn’t prepare for my Matura(1) exam both from Polish and English exams. I passed Polish written with 66%, oral – 65%, English both more than 95%. I was 1 month in UK 2 months before my exams and the tests were really easy if there was someone that could speak English somehow. Polish – written test tested some knowledge from books that we’re supposed to read and some reading skills. I read just one book in my high school so I didn’t have much knowledge and somehow I managed to guess some answers. And anyway 66% is pretty good for a girl from IT field ;). Majority of students pray for 30% which is the lowest grade to pass the exam.

Oral exam were the presentation on the chosen topic. I had to choose one, choose the resources (books and movies in my case). I wanted very much to get it done faster – month before exam, 2 weeks, and then I woke up 3 days before – you know this feeling? I watched the movies I’ve chosen, read summary of those books and somehow managed to prepare something. It was pretty good, but I didn’t have enough time to prepare to give a speech. So that’s why it was so low. I didn’t fit in the given time ’cause I was really stressed out that I’m not prepared enough.

But okay, I managed to pass the exam, got to the quite good university. Doing my bachelor’s degree (engineer’s in Poland). First year was disaster, I was taking note but then it was extremely hard to learn later on, and the courses were so short in comparison to the material we had to learn… I didn’t remember much from courses so I had to learn somehow. Nevertheless I’m quite smart and I’m learning IT that is interesting for me so it was easier than learning history or biology. Now I have one of highest grade while working full time as a programmer.

Anyway I didn’t fix my issues that prevent me from achieving really big goals (or goals at all). I started to work on my habits. Doing good but slow and I feel like my mind sabotages me. I want to do this course on Pluralsight (2) but my mind says „Oh, look, let’s find out what should you eat to have more energy” or „Let’s google out how to fight with your procrastination.” or „Oh, haven’t seen YouTube for a really long time – whole 15 min” or maybe „So quiet here, let’s play something” and I go to youtube, find the very interesting movie about „Why I Don’t Use A Smart Phone”, and then another one (actually when I play the first one, I already forgot what I was doing) and the list goes on…

How to fix it?

Firstly I want to say ADHD is not bad. It’s just hard to handle the regular everyday life with it. After all I like that I’m so creative, have 100 ideas each minute, but what should I do with all of those great ideas? I found some useful tips but I’ll write more on this later on.

Adhd is a wonderful gift, but not easy to unwrap.

– I don’t remember author but it’s 100% truth.

Do you have that problem too? Maybe not that „easy” or „hard” as mine (if it’s possible to compare somehow).

How do you handling that?

Love,
Natalie.

Originally posted at my prior blog: vernathic.wordpress.com


(1) Polish exam after high school and before university/college

(2) Great platform for gaining IT skills (not only programming) and some graphic design and few more stuff.

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